Non agreement between my brain and my body

In a normal situation where it's me against the world, I really could care less what anybody thinks. I am me. I don't try to be anybody different.

Now, if I have to stand up or talk in front of a group, my insides go to work immediately. My stomach goes crazy, I start sweating, and my face catches fire!

I have been attending sales meetings and trainings at the real estate office I am going to work for once I get done getting my license. Again, I do not have my license yet. So I have to go to this office where everybody else has their license and knows what they are doing. Normally, the Tuesday meetings are at the smaller office. Yesterday, it was at the big office. I didn't know who to expect there or what to expect there.

I had no issues whatsoever, until I was about to walk in. I noticed that there were entrances in the back of this building too. It's a BEAUTIFUL little Victorian home that is used for an office. (There is a mexican restaurant right across the street that we have frequented, and I always said I wanted to see inside that Victorian house!)

So here I am, not knowing which door was the one to go thru. I ended up going in the back door. I didn't think I was nervous. I went in, saw some familiar faces, said hello, and found my spot in the room. I sat down and my face felt like it was burning OFF! So then I was embarrassed, thinking that everybody could see my red face and know the turmoil going on in my body!

Lo and behold, the meeting was starting and guess what?! The broker stood BEHIND me for the meeting. I couldn't move to another spot without making a fuss, and I couldn't turn around as there was no room. So I endured it. She's all of about 5, 2 probably, standing behind me talking. So for an hour, I felt like everybody in the room was staring at me.

Today? I feel a whole lot different than I did yesterday. Big deal, right? I just don't know how to get my brain and my body to agree. I really am determined to get over this kind of anxiety. It's held me prisoner for way too long. I do want to be free from it.