Mom, I told you to stop taking Dad to Wally World!

BANNED FROM WALMART...........

This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to WalMart.
Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and out.
Equally unfortunately, my wife is like most women - - she loved to browse.
Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local WalMart.

Dear Mrs. XXXXXXXXXXX,
Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion
In our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to
Ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr.XXXXXXXXXXXX are
Listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's
Carts when they weren't looking.

2 . July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at
5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official
Voice, "Code 3 in House wares. Get on it right away."

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's
On layaway.

6. August 14: Moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other
Shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets
Fro m the bedding department.

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began
Crying and screamed, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it
As a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he
Asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly
Humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his "Madonna look"
By using different sizes of funnels.

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed
Through, yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"

14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he
Assumed a fetal position and screamed "OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!"

And last, but n to least

15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited
Awhile, then yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!"


Regards,
Tom Richards

Walmart Manager